copypasta 1

Now, listen, here’s how it works:
She’s gonna pull her rig off, and she’s gonna get on all fours. Now, you stand behind her and drop your rig. Then, you’re gonna see something that looks like some kind of Japanese food. It ain’t, so don’t eat it. That’s the bullseye. Then you just start tugging on your little soldier. Wait ‘til he gets to attention, then poke him in there. Keep poking it in there ‘til he spits up. You’re gonna need a raincoat. She’ll have one, so don’t worry about that.

As soon as you’re done, run to the bathroom, wash your crotch. That way, you don’t wake up wondering why you got oatmeal in your carpet. Breathe through your mouth so that you don’t puke. Shouldn’t be a problem for you.

You got it?